RIP

It’s hard to imagine the agony of being slowly consumed by cancerous cells over a long period of time. For well over a year, Mary, my wife, suffered excruciating lower back pain, initially thought to be due to sciatica, but later diagnosed as metastatic breast cancer. Ingesting strong painkillers, including narcotics, did not make much difference. Her pain was only bearable while lying down, which is what she did most of the time. Despite it all, though, her religious devotion and strong faith in God, along with a loving family and friends who visited her regularly, managed to keep a constant smile on her face, always happy to share a laugh with her family and her friends, and always thankful for the life she was blessed to live.

Mary was a happy woman. She had a beautiful smile and a contagious, easy laugh that endeared her to all who knew her. She was born in Toronto to George and Mary Onuska, her Slovakian parents, on August 16, 1937. In her youth she was close to her brother George, a year her senior, with whom she shared common friends right through her early thirties. Later, as we moved back to Toronto, she developed a close relationship with George’s daughter Natalie, whom she considered more like a daughter than a niece.

I met Mary in Montreal in the summer of 1969. It was love at first sight. We were married less than a year later and lived in that city for a while. Over the years, after giving birth to three wonderful boys – Christian, Marc and Robert - we travelled the world and lived in different cities where I was posted for work, including Toronto, Maidenhead/London, Rome and Hudson/Montreal. Her bubbly personality and her ability to make friends, no matter where we lived, made it easy for us to socialize with interesting multicultural people and enjoy life to the fullest.

In Maidenhead she joined her friends in visiting places of interest, including Trash & Treasure marketplaces (her favourite pastime), as well as in fun-filled traditional pancake races through town. In Rome, as President of the Canadian Women Club, she explored the city and did charity work with several fund-raising parties at home. Her charity work continued in Hudson while serving as President of the local Chapter of the Red Cross. Also in Hudson she was an active Bridge player and an organizer of frequent parties at home.

As Christian and Marc married (Christine and Dawn respectively) and settled down with promising careers in Toronto, we were gifted with three beautiful grandchildren – Micaela, Sebastien and Raffaele, now aged 17, 17 and 14. They have grown to be wonderful kids that gave Mary great joy whenever they came to see her and spend time with her.

Worthy of mention are the 25 years we spent in Hudson, where we shared lots of social activities with many friends. On Mary’s 80th birthday, in 2017, conscious of our advancing age, we decided to move back to Toronto and be closer to all our family members, on both sides. For the occasion we hosted a big goodbye party at our home in Hudson. It was a momentous event for our family and for our guests.

In the last few years of her life, we accepted the fact that we were no longer young and that we could no longer indulge in travelling around the world. We therefore lived a quiet life in Toronto, happy to be close to our family, and content with the notion that we had 54 years of exciting life together.

Mary will always be remembered as a happy person with a contagious smile and an ebullient personality. I loved her, we all loved her. She will be sorely missed by everyone who knew her.