My Dedication to Dad- his life and legacy
A poem to start and conclude, with a story of life in-between. Hang in there as I repeat many adjectives which describe Dad; only a testament to the strength that those descriptor’s represent him….
As I reflected many times throughout the past 5 months on what I would say or how I would characterize this wonderful man we celebrate today, my mind would flood with so many fond memories that brought a huge smile to my face; conflicted with the associated ache in my heart, as I long to see and talk to him again. But what I have realized in the past 5 months… is that we CAN see and talk to him- just differently now.
Proudly, I took stock on the journey of his life….and I captured so many prestigious titles that he held in his 75 years … Son, Brother, Brother in law, Uncle, Husband, Father, Grandfather, Great Grandfather, Cousin, Nephew and a great Friend to so, so many people, who were fortunate to cross his path.
His early years….born into a farming family, and his older brother already gone from the homestead, Dad found himself growing up quickly given his fathers illness with cancer…and around the age of 15, without hesitation, Dad placed his childhood education on hold to assume the responsibility of running the family farm after his father passed. Let’s take time to reflect as to what we were all doing at 15 and how brave and courageous he was to step into this role. As my memory serves me with the stories he shared, Dad then transitioned into driving a truck for a local farmer before he once again set out on a journey of betterment and find work in Ontario – in search of a job to be able to provide stability for his wife and family. After a short duration at a mattress company (which he detested) he was successful at landing and maintaining an honorable 36 year career with Air Canada. And if that wasn’t enough, he then embarked upon a second career for his next 10 years at Adelt Mechanical, along side his adored son. Dad valued those year so much, in my heart I know it was because he got to be with Glenn and all the boys. He loved to be involved, he loved to be busy, he was not afraid to work hard and long- that is what I remember about Dad.
His admiration for Mom was so evident to all that knew him. His true partner in crime, she worked hard to guide him and keep him on the rails yet, supported and gave him freedom to be who he was. Their love, respect and ability to be a united team at all times was a well written guide that we can all learn from. Although I naturally knew there were likely tough times…they never lost sight of there dedication to one another- infectious and admirable! I am very thankful for that!
Dad was very involved- self taught guitarist, bowling partner, T- ball coach, Hockey and Ringette Father, golf buddy and Personal Chef to all. His love of food was evident with the solid stature he carried most of his life….his “concoctions” never ceased to amaze us- there were no two ingredients that I don’t think he didn’t try to combine to SEE what it might taste like. In our younger years, he convinced Glenn liver was steak, was relentless at convincing me at 3 year old to finish my molasses and toast (that was nasty) and for many years became famous for putting peas in everything he made. I am certain he genuinely felt they had a defined place in all food dishes!
I would be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge his love of social time- a beer with friends and a bev’ie to celebrate any occasion- he would never say no to that. Dad and Mom LOVED to socialize! Despite what might appear to others to be ‘limited’ square footage in that two bedroom apartment- I am sure we broke all kinds of fire hazard rules with the number of people we could gather at once. Everyone was welcome in their home- the open door was offered to all …and as Glenn and I grew older- 10 Reid Dr was where we often hung out and many stayed the night, if needed.
My childhood memories run deep and are so vivid in my mind. I will always be honoured and proud to say I am a Daddy’s girl. One of the single most comforting feelings is that bond I felt, the strength of his arms, the command of his voice, the love in his eyes and the reassurance that he is always there. The respect I had and still have for what he did and why he did it is immense…chasing Mom ‘cause he knew she was the one, raising a family ‘cause he had so much to give and impart, taking care of parents even from afar, working his tail off to give and provide….he gave me forgiveness when I messed up and he gave me encouragement as I grew up…that man continuously GAVE from his heart!
As a little girl, I fondly remember curling up beside him so we could share stories about our day- he was always so involved and I could share anything….as time went on and typical teenager antics would occur and it was he who would guide me without fear of consequence. Even though he made me eat his many concoctions and lost me once while mom was shopping (to his credit I think Glenn was trying to lose me) and was forever pulling me out of bed in the early AM for special breakfasts, randomly showed up to pick me up from school whenever he could and flew with me down to PEI every year from when I was 8-15 – reflecting back all of those actions, he created the fun loving memories that we laughed and joked about right up until the end. He taught me strong morals and values and I worked hard to make him proud, but if ever there was a blip or stumble he never waivered in his support. Now, don’t mistake he could be stern- until the age of 14 he could bring me to tears with the tone of voice, as he called my name; although in fairness that was a rare occasion.
I can only remember one argument we had when I was ~20 and the irony of the outcome was that, in the end, he received what he taught me to do…which was stand strong when you believe and speak out (or back in this instance- oops) when you disagree. The argument didn’t last long, although I was stubborn about it at the time and as the gentle poppa bear he was, he meandered his way to collect me and my hurt feelings with a special meal and time together – and that was that!
I was always so proud to see him standing in the arena watching me play Ringette, so blessed that he taught me to drive and helped me buy my first car and then cared for it like it was his own…the overwhelming gratitude I felt when heading off to university as he and mom were wise enough to know I needed tools to be successful. I’m positive he broke the bank to see me though financially- starting with buying me a computer so I had what I needed. So many incredible memories flooded my mind as I prepared for today…
To have Dad walk me down the isle not once BUT twice
Summerside Sat coffees every week with dad– disguised as time to catch up however, I knew it was his way to watch over me and ensure I was good
Broke my ankle in my early 40’s – who came to the hospital while I got my x-ray -DAD
Kate was in hospital at 18 months- who came to ensure I was fed while caring for her - DAD
All the stressful family dinners (no matter how big or small) that I didn’t do so well, who swooped in to fix it – the grill master, stove babysitter and master gravy maker of them all -DAD…..I could go on and on with these endless memories…and they all just warm my heart and make me smile !
It is so settling to me that Dad had many wonderful years to be a part of seeing all of his grandchildren’s journeys. As ‘Poppa of the century’- what he would not do for all of 5 girls …so happy to have convinced he and mom that they couldn’t go back home to PEI when they retired. I suppose in hindsight, I longed at the opportunity for his grandchildren to be actively involved in his life - and they were, right up to the end. His time, love and devotion to them all is how he taught them too- he truly lived by setting the gentle example and they all reacted like sponges, so blessed to receive it. Also super special to Dad was the addition of 3 more grandchildren and a great grandson, although a bit later in life- he nevertheless loved all the special visits and stories that were shared.
…AND of course, the twinkle in his eye as he watched his great Granddaughter- Charlee grow through her first year. He literally lit up every time he had a chance to see her smile, eat, play and dance. While earlier this year she had a bit of a fear of men; ironically, she would, with grace, lay down the kisses for Papa without a blink of an eye. It’s like she knew she was his namesake- such an honour to carry.
Who was this man I called Dad?
… he was a Giver…who tirelessly gave anything to provide or help, so loving / gentle / kind and caring; selfless; dedicated; determined; a fighter who overcame adversity, our fearless leader, so proud, beyond devoted to his wife and family, forgiving, a joker, protective, incredibly social, most of all genuine and truly authentic- what you saw was what you got…so fortunate to be a part of him.
How did he influence us / what were his greatest gifts to us?
…the endless memories filled with love, laughter and life… he taught us gratitude, the meaning of family, how to have fun and laugh, perseverance, happiness, forgiveness, the value of time as he gave his time for all of us whenever we needed him, the love of a meal together, the value of honesty, integrity, kindness and unconditional love. His protective nature as he always stood strong, despite what fears he would have had. His selflessness right to the end- that man rarely complained- his response to how are you feeling was always – I’m Good! He gave so much of his life to thinking, worrying, smiling, providing, giving…his world was about us!
What we all meant to him…
…as things were progressing on his health, we needed to be mindful of our gut instincts and had to be strong on paving the way on what he truly needed, but would not ask for. All he ever wanted was to be with all of us …and in the end, I am super proud of how all of us here today rallied and gathered close to make his wishes come true, all the while easing his fears along the way. The opportunity to scoop him up and out of Credit Valley Hospital that day and provide a central location that we could all support he and mom from, enabled us to see through our goal of Christmas and New Years together. Then, how fortunate were we to also be able to celebrate Feb and March birthdays- again a testament in how we all worked seamlessly together for him …we all need to reflect on just how incredibly settling that was for him….and he verbalized his heartfelt thanks right to the end, to all of us for that. That is what he taught us- family first! We all know he was taken far too soon however, we need to continue to honour his legacy by carving time like were doing today with one another and in support of Mom. That was his last wish and I love and value how we are living it!
In closing, I have one last short poem that seemed fitting – In Loving Memory of Dad and until we meet again….
