On February 5, 2021, we had a private visitation to say goodbye and celebrate Mom’s life. This tribute is based on the eulogy I delivered.
Our Mom, Betty Gunter Shewchuk, was born during the depression into a hard-working farming family in Gonor, Manitoba. Her Dad (Joe) and Mom (Mary) were market gardeners. She was the adored “kid” sister of Eddie. Her Gunter grandparents (Mary and John) lived with the family.
Though she lived in the depression and wartime, she said she never wanted for anything. In fact, she was sometimes spoiled by her Dad. On his trips to Winnipeg to sell his produce, her Dad would often bring home treats. Yet, Mom learned to be frugal. In her youth, Mom took piano lessons that required weekly trips to Winnipeg. This was considered a luxury, and she felt very fortunate.
Mom had a rebellious side. One day, when she was about 9 or 10, company was expected for dinner, and Mom was supposed to stay near home. Instead, she went to visit a friend down the road. When she realized she was late getting home, she sped home on her bike only to fall and break her arm. Not wanting to get in trouble, she acted normally when she got home. When she was later asked to perform on the piano for the family’s guests, she was busted! The truth always comes out is a lesson she taught us.
Mom’s life on the Gunter farm taught her hard work. She was surrounded by a large family with many cousins. On Sundays in the summer, her city relatives would drive to the country to visit the farm. My Baba, Mary Gunter, was known as a great cook and baker. Mom learned these skills from the best. Everyone was always welcome in the Gunter home and later in Betty’s.
The highlight of Mom's summers were visits from her cousin Valerie (Ginske) Voss, who lived in Chicago. Mom and Valerie were the same age and had similar interests. They forged a lifelong friendship.
Mom had a second brother in her cousin Lawrence Tomczak. They were the same age and close as kids. They became closer as adults, especially after the death of Mom’s brother Eddie. When Lawrence married Janice, Jan and Mom became great friends. I remember Mom and Jan staying up all night talking and laughing during visits in Toronto and during summer holidays in Narol.
Betty was proud to say that she was an “original teenager” growing up in the 1950s.
She loved hanging out with her friends and her brother’s at the Half Moon or Skinners in Lockport where she had her first job. It was the 50’s and Mom loved to dance and party. Mom loved Elvis and the music of that era. She was crazy for Louis Armstrong, and dreamed of going to New Orleans and Paris. After her high school matriculation, she worked at The Bay in Winnipeg.
It was during her teenage years that Mom became good friends with Lorraine (Ritchie) Porteous. One thing Mom knew was farm life was not for her. This was a sentiment that Lorraine shared.
Mom worked briefly in Chicago as a certified comptometer operator. There, she lived with her cousins Nick Gudge and his wife Vera. The three of them relentlessly played pranks on each other. Our favourite prank occurred when Mom and Vera were getting back at Nicky for some joke he had played on them. They were packing lunches and made Nicky a sandwich with newspaper for the filling between the slices of bread - a newspaper sandwich. We grew up hearing funny stories from that special time in Mom’s life. We always hoped we would have such fun stories to tell someday. Mom’s kinship with Nick and Vera was evident when she chose them as Godparents for my brother.
Mom was a favourite choice for Godmother among family and friends. She was Godmother to: her nephew Joel Gunter, Wayne Domenco, Roy Rutka, Robin Harrison, and others.
In 1955, Lorraine and Betty embarked on an adventure to Toronto. Our Aunt Rose Gusnosky was living in Toronto and helped them get settled.
Mom worked at Dearborn Chemical in the Junction neighbourhood of Toronto. Through friends Mom met Al, and they married in 1957. My brother Greg arrived in 1959. Mom lived with her in-laws until they bought a house, just before I arrived. Jeff Drive was our family home until Betty divorced Al in 1979. She moved to Pebble Valley where she lived for the next 39 years. Her home was the center of our family life, and she was blessed with wonderful neighbours.
Growing up on Jeff Drive was special. Many lifelong friendships started there. Betty and Gladys raised their kids as neighbours and became dear friends. Lorraine and Ray Porteous lived a few miles away and were like family. Friends Irene and Bill Thompson lived in the neighbourhood. I refer to their son Miles as my cousin, because it is easier than explaining we aren’t related, but we have cousins in common. Mom and Irene built a lasting friendship.
Mom was known and is remembered by many of the girls in our neighbourhood as Brown Owl. She was a dedicated volunteer with Girl Guides of Canada for many years. Guiding and Scouting were a part of our family life.
Aunt Rose lived nearby was included in all our family celebrations. Mom was a devoted niece and caregiver for Aunt Rose in her later years.
Like Mom, some of her extended family migrated to Ontario. Her cousin Lori Ducheck Ehrenworth arrived in 1979 for a job with Wardair, and our family grew. Her cousin Gary Mandzuik also arrived that year, and our family grew. In 1988, Mom was thrilled when her niece Debby and Nephew Glenn (with Connie and Curtis) arrived, and our family grew.
Mom was a devoted aunt to her brother’s kids despite the distance between them. Having Debby and Glenn nearby was special. Joel and Glenn continued to phone Mom regularly. Letters and cards from Debby were treasured and never thrown away.
Though there were many tough times in Mom’s life, she didn’t dwell on them. Mom went through a lot. Between 1971 and 1973, she lost her brother, both parents, and both grandmothers. Family was precious to her, and those hard times made her extended family even more important.
With our large extended family mostly in Manitoba, there were celebrations when there were just the three of us: Mom, Greg and me. Those were the celebrations Mom made extra special with new traditions, new recipes, and traditional Ukrainian favourites. New family traditions were born. Mom was an amazing cook and passed that passion on to her kids and grandkids.
When Mom returned to the workforce in 1979, she worked briefly for Pepsi then was hired in the accounting department at Etobicoke Board of Education. She worked for the school board until her retirement in 2000. She made some great friends during that time.
The joy of being a grandmother arrived in 1994 with Lauren and again in 1998 with Darren. Her grandkids were the light in her life. She proudly advised on school projects when Lauren studied the Ukraine and her family tree and when Darren made borscht with his grade 8 home economics class. She takes full credit for Lauren’s decision to be an accountant. When Lauren moved abroad, Mom understood her desire to go and see the world but missed her. Mom loved to see Darren enjoying his guitar and takes full credit for his love of cooking.
In retirement, Mom enjoyed golfing with Lorraine and the girls and spending time with grandkids and friends. She traveled to Chicago, Florida, Mexico, Calgary, Winnipeg, and had a fun adventure with her cousin Bernice in BC. We celebrated her 72nd birthday in Paris, a dream came true. We also had a great adventure in New Orleans where she heard her Satchmo favourites performed at Preservation Hall.
Mom was always the life of the party and loved to talk. She didn’t swim, but she enjoyed sailing on Greg and Dave’s sailboat and enjoyed boating with Greg at the cottage. One of her prized possessions was her Rockin' Ranch sweatshirt which reminded her of fun times.
Nothing made Mom happier than being surrounded by family and singing along while Greg played “American Pie” on his guitar. She loved to sing but knew she couldn’t carry a tune. She would laugh and remind me that when I was little, I used to tell her that her singing “sounded sour”. It will be hard to sing “Red River Valley” without shedding a tear.
In 2009, Mom welcomed a daughter-in-law when Greg married Eve. Mom and Eve developed a close bond and Eve became her second daughter. Eve played a vital role in elevating Mom’s spirits during some difficult times. Their shared love of reading the newspaper and crossword puzzles made Mom’s many, hospital stays bearable.
Mom’s legacy is the wonderful family that she nurtured. We have close cousins all over North America and as far as Australia because she built those connections. Mom’s love for family was shared with her former in-laws, especially with our cousins the Rutkas. Mom and Anne-Marie Rutka were kindred spirits, and Mom missed her terribly. I am comforted in knowing they are together again.
Lauren, when you bake Betty’s Famous Lemon Squares, and Darren, when you make a pot of Borscht or strum “American Pie”, remember how much Grammy loved you.
When I hear songs by Elvis, Louis Armstrong, or Patti Page, I think of Mom. She often started her phone calls by singing, “I just called to say I love you”. I have a playlist called "Betty’s Faves", which starts with the song “Sentimental Journey” by Doris Day. Thank you for taking this Sentimental Journey with me, as I remember our Mom.
Mom, you were the best mother anyone could have. I love you, and I always will.
Love, Vonni (Yvonne Eddy)
PS. Darren and I wore our suede shoes today. Sorry Mom… they weren’t blue.
