Mama
A mother gives life, but an exceptional mother does more, she teaches life. My mother did that. She was an exemplary parent, wife and grandmother.
Mama did not have an easy childhood. She was born in northern Italy in 1934, during the heart of the depression. Like my father, her youth was marred by bitter poverty and war. As a little girl she constantly fled for her life during the middle of the night while both the Allies and Axis dropped bombs on her village. By the time she was 13 she had lost 2 siblings. She also did not meet her father until she was 16. By then she had already been working sewing dresses, cleaning homes and doing chores on the farm since the age of 5. It’s fair to say, that my mother had no real childhood. As a boy I vividly recall seeing her cry when a friend brought her a souvenir doll from Haiti. When I asked her why she was crying she responded by telling me it was her first doll. She was almost 40 at the time.
Despite her upbringing, my mother appreciated life and its infinite beauty. While my father taught me pragmatism, my mother taught me the possibilities of life. My father would look at the sun and recognize its importance – it gives light and heat, necessary ingredients for life. But while my mother recognized all of that, she saw more. She saw sunsets and sunrises…the passion of colour, the vibrancy of life.
In retrospect, my mother taught me the joys of art, literature, cinema, and music. Even more important, she taught me compassion and how to love.
My mother had numerous passions and talents. She loved to sew and was a very good seamstress. She could make everything from elegant dresses to coats. As a boy, she often created my Halloween outfits. I’m not talking about simple ghost sheets, I’m talking about magician outfits, including top hats. She was also an outstanding cook and was incredibly resourceful. Her upbringing taught her not to waste a thing – whether it was material or food.
As anyone who has been to my parent’s home would know, mama loved flowers. While my father grumbled about the number of plants she was purchasing my mother would quietly smile while converting their home into a botanical garden.
But above all, my mother’s greatest gift was utter devotion to her family and friends. My mother was the quintessential mother not only for me, but also for her beloved husband, her daughter in law Carla, her grandchildren, Jessica, Michael and David, her siblings, nephews and nieces and all her friends. When you stepped into her home, you weren’t a guest…you were family. Anyone who entered her home was treated with respect and kindness.
I personally witnessed my mother deal with many adversities. She even overcame cancer on 3 occasions. Yet she demonstrated her greatest strength by how she dutifully looked after my father, her husband of 62 years, during his last years. Many days she was exhausted and not feeling well, yet she persevered and made sure that he was cared for.
Mama was selfless. Even when she was undergoing chemotherapy, the needs of everyone around her were paramount to her, for family was the essence of Avelia Matteazzi. She was a loving and devoted wife, mother, grandmother, sister, aunt and friend.
Just as she planted and watered her flowers, mama nourished her family and friends with patience and kindness. And just as she sewed her amazing outfits, Mama stitched together the fabric of our family with attention to detail, tenderness and love.
One cannot help but think that Heaven is somehow even more lovely because Mama is there right now with my father, talking to God, and undoubtedly asking him to open the gates of Heaven a little bit wider for the rest of us, so that one day, we shall all be reunited with her in her new home, of eternal love and peace.
Rest in peace Mama,
~ Gaetano
