My Dad had a fine mind for numbers, as he was an accountant by trade. He was known to study tax regulations and financial instruments with the tenacity of an overzealous auditor. As I was also an accountant, he grilled me on financial planning strategies, that left me reeling. But he also had a well-rounded intellect and an appreciation for culture and the arts. He introduced me to the art of storytelling, with folk stories he narrated to me at bedtime. He paved my way to my love of music - as music played in the house all the time, the classics, the standards, and yes, even contemporary pop. ( He once commented on the unique arrangement of Bohemia Rhapsody). He was a student of philosophy and law and thus, well versed in discussing the meaning of life and the rule of law. Just don't expect to get a straight answer from him on these matters - he was also a born politician! But he’ll give you answers ( in the form of question) when watching Jeopardy. It was his favorite show.
Most of all, Dad enjoyed the company of people. He once told me, never assume the worst of people, only the best. This by far was the best piece advice he ever gave me because it has served me well in keeping my faith in humanity. But this precious nugget from a man who loved people, also reflected how he conducted himself both in life and in dying. If there is a captive audience, he will not hesitate to talk, share and laugh with you, while offering a refreshing beverage to perpetuate the conversation and relax the mood. His charm was both effortless and at times awkward - which made him more endearing.
In his last weeks of life, medical staff and visitors alike were treated to Dad's musings, observations and theories on a variety of subjects, be it the ancestral lines of his home province, the meaning of happiness, or his increasing resemblance to Clint Eastwood after his weight loss.
Though social and open amongst people, Dad also enjoyed his own company. He lived a deep inner life within his cerebral mind. It is in this state, that Dad contemplated his most important decisions and reconciled his thoughts with equal parts of reason and feeling. Many a fish were caught, hours of music listened to and volumes of books were read, in pursuit of solitude.
He sought peace in the quiet, comfort in the calm because it was not his style to complain, to dwell, to be embittered. He was a proud , private man who valued knowledge, freedom, and the beauty in virtue.
In true form, Dad didn't complain much during his illness except to bemoan the inedible quality of hospital food. He refused pain medication at the hospital and refrained from seeking any special attention. He just wanted to go home during his hospitalization, and drink coffee and sit with Mom around the breakfast table, like they did every morning. He was able to do so after brief hospitalizations in the past, but in December of 2022, he never left the palliative unit.
I love my father very much, and there is no depth to my sense of loss from his passing. I miss him terribly, his bright smile, his nerdy trivia, and I know the void within will never be filled. Ours was not a perfect father-daughter relationship you hear about in country songs. We butted heads, but only because I was as stubborn and hard-headed as he was. This apple didn't fall far from the tree. I probably have more in common with Dad than I care to admit, which is fine by me. I am comforted that at least in my own life, I carry a part of him in me for always. I will always be grateful that he always gave me the freedom to be me. I love you, Dad, with all of my heart and mind. Rest in peace and we'll see each other again...
