Mama’s Eulogy
Thank you all for coming. My family appreciates your support. Over the last few days, so many of you have come forward expressing your sympathies for my grandmother, Alice. I’ve also heard many accounts of how she warmed hearts and made people smile. However, I want to speak to a group of people that Alice loved the most: the children. Anyone who grew up knowing Alice knows her fondly and differently than someone who only knew her as an adult. It’s because she had so many child-like qualities that resonated with us.
She had a sweet tooth. Alice loved chocolate and ice cream and made me and Michael chocolate pudding. She loved to sing nursery rhymes and Christmas carols. Except, when she did it, she truly enjoyed it. She wasn’t just entertaining me and Michael, she was entertaining herself. She would also play along with whatever we wanted to do, no matter how unsavory. I liked to terrorize ants as a kid, and she was a willing accomplice, pointing out ant hills for me to shoot down with my water pistol. Now this is all good and fine, but what did we learn from her? What good came out of the unique relationship we had with her?
Mama had tremendous faith throughout her life. With all the information and distractions in our society, it is easy to forget about our faith. But she did not. She spoke to God all through the day. God was not just a part of her life, God filled her life. He gave her security. She never complained about what was wrong in her life. And even though we could see that lots was wrong, she never gave it power in her words. Instead, she talked about how she prayed to God for herself, and her family. And even towards the end of her life she was secure and did not worry. My dad told me about how he fed her in the hospital, and she started to cough. My dad, being concerned, apologized. She said “Don’t worry, it is not your fault. None of this is anyone’s fault.” She was never bitter, she was never regretful. She had decided long ago that God was in control of her life and there was no reason for any of us to feel responsible for the challenges were facing.
The kindness that she expressed towards my dad was typical of mama. One thing about Alice is that she never pointed out a fault. You always left a conversation with her feeling better about yourself. She always celebrated her grandchildren as we were in the moment, and never made us feel like we needed to do more than we were already doing. She taught us to celebrate our friends and family. To spend more time telling them what they are doing right, and not to put pressure on them if it’s not necessary, because they most likely put enough pressure on themselves.
Lastly, I learned to always be joyful. Now Joy is not the same thing as happiness. Happiness is a positive reaction to something external. But Joy, Joy is knowing that you are unconditionally loved, and that nothing, not sickness, not distress, or even death will take that love away. Alice had joy because she had the love and support of God, and all of us. That is why her faith was always strong, that is why she was always secure, that is why she didn’t try to change people, and that is why she didn’t assign blame to anything or anyone. It is so poetic that she went to be with the Lord in the third week of advent… the Week of Joy. While Advent deals with waiting for Christ, the third Sunday of Advent deals with thanking him for what you have. Alice was thankful for her family and friends, and she will come into Christmas as she was waited patiently and waited joyfully.
I want to end this with reading from Thesalonians, one of the core readings for the Third Sunday of Advent: " May the God of Peace make you holy and bring you to perfection. Hold fast to what is good. May you be completely blameless, in spirit, soul and body, till the coming of Christ Jesus, our lord. He who called you is faithful and He will do it."
Matthew Pinto December 20, 2020