From Mitch – Wojtek’s dad.
They say human characters are built on a base of what exists in the near environment. They might depend on people around you, your parents, siblings, maybe neighbours or teachers. The characters could be molded by the events and maybe even by the history. Who knows what else? Anything that is close to you I guess, anything that touched your life in the past or possibly by something that was just near you. For many years I have been wondering where Wojtek’s qualities had come from. It wasn’t really clear to me. A short while after his birth in Poland, his family was not in unity anymore and when Donata came to Canada, she and Wojtek went through a harshness that not too many people would take lightly, and I am not talking here about the finances at all. The fear and the stress evolved from being in an unknown place can kill a soul quicker than a lack of funds. Was Wojtek’s character built on that? – you would ask. No, not at all. When some of us would be full of anxiety, crying and wanting to go back to comfort, he was cheerful, with a broad smile on his face, saying “Don’t be so sad. Everything will be OK”.
I remember one day, when the weather was bad and his friends were upset because they couldn’t play outside, he was telling them “Don’t worry, it will stop raining soon and we’ll have fun again”. At school, when the test was a failure, his eyes were ready to study harder to get a better mark and there was not even a trace of resignation in them. One day, when his grandmother passed away, we mourned of course very deeply, but after a short while he said to his mother “Mammy, I don’t want you to be sad anymore, I want you to smile”. Sometimes, when I was coming home looking really stressed out after a long day of working in a very demanding environment, he was coming to me, with his smile of course, telling me “Relax, tomorrow will be a better day”.
I asked myself a thousand times: where did his character came from? For sure not from his life events or whatever happened in his surroundings. He would be much quieter, I thought, and more unapproachable. How would you explain the fact that one day, when he was in his 20ties, he got hit by a car while rollerblading, he got up all bruised up and bleeding but telling a driver that collided with him “everything is good and nothing to worry about”? Wouldn’t most of us call police and charge the guilty culprit? I asked him “Why didn’t you call police or ambulance?” He said “It was driver’s fault but I told him not to worry. I was riding too fast too and he couldn’t see me coming”. There was something unexplainable and very different about him. What was it? Where did it come from? Was it from stars, zodiac? I studied him very often and couldn’t figure it out. After a long time I decided, it must have been the day that he was born: December 30th, the happy day for a lot of us, when we’re still in a Christmas celebration mood, still united with our relatives and getting ready for that big party that would end with popping sound of shampagne at midnight. There was nothing else coming to my mind. When he was born, his Christmas was still ON on December 30th and the New Years Eve was ALREADY on at the same time. I could see it in him all the time over the years. It wouldn’t matter if it was April, June, September or November. There was always a Christmas tree in his heart and a beautiful smile he had, no matter how cold or hot it was at home or outside. Also a New Year’s Eve party was in his mind all the time no matter how much mud he would have to dance in. Happiness, caring about the others and being kind, was like a Christmas and a New Year’s Eve party put together.
He was 26 years younger than me but he new how to do it, and I sometimes did not! Unbelievably, he set an example for me, an adult! With him at my side I realized that smile, kindness and happiness were a great magnet for the same. When I met Donata he was six years old and I’ll tell you, that magnet was so strong that we stuck together forever. I will never forget that one day when I played around with him and one of his friends from neighbourhood in Donata’s apartment, carrying them on my back, one at the time of course, or playing seek and hide, etc. At one point I had to go to the washroom. On my way back to the living room I overheard his friend from behind the corner asking Wojtek: “Is he your new dad?”. And Wojtek, with the happiness in his voice, said “Yes”. That was one of my happiest days of my life. I have to admit at that time I still had a couple of unanswered questions about my life, and what I heard behind the corner of that room was like a stamp or a seal of approval for me. It felt like I was passing a very important test and I knew who I was going to spend the rest of my life with.
Over the years we all went through life’s hurdles, ups and downs and now, from a time distance, I can say that our relationship was not a typical one. It was far from it because I was not only his fatherly teacher but also I was his student. Even in young age of 10 or 12 he was my mentor when it came to showing positive attitude and kindness that should be the most important aspects of our lives. I am very greatful to him for it and I will carry him in my heart forever.
