Eulogy for Ronald Melvin Hicks - Delivered on June 18, 2019 at Turner & Porter Chapel, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
'What we once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes part of us.' Helen Keller
Thank-you all for coming and celebrating the wonderful and full life of Ronald Melvin Hicks. For those of you who don’t know me , My name in Byron Leclair and I am Ron’s son in law. I think because of my name I was destined to speak here today :)
My views on delivering a eulogy is not to focus on the sadness and loss we all feel right now…but to pay tribute and celebrate Ron’s life and all he has given us.
Even though we are sad in losing a wonderful husband, father, poppa, brother, friend and family member… Ron gave each of us a untethered piece of him which we will always remember.
When I first met Ron it was 1994. I was dating his beautiful daughter Lydia at the time when I first visited the Hicks household. The first thing I remember is meeting him and Ron asking 'ME'…. about 'ME'. He wanted to about what I did, how I was doing, where I came from, my education, what sports I played, what my hobbies were, etc…. not what my intentions were (wink) (which of course were very honourable). He wanted to know about ME.
This was Ron.
Everyone in this room who knows Ron, also knows that he was one of most genuine people out there. When people say - ‘ you know….that guy is the salt of the earth’…they are talking about people like Ron.
As I got to know Ron I starting to learn about his story, where he came from, and his experiences.
Ron was one of the most interesting people I have ever met
Ron was ……
Adventurous
Curious
Courageous
Empathetic
and Fun loving
Right to the end…he never changed.
Here is a bit of back ground on Ron’s life as I know it….
Ron was Born on Sept 23 1938 in Jamshedpur, Bihar, India (200 miles from Calcutta) to George and Olive Hicks. Ron is lovingly survived by his 2 sisters, Marjorie and Sylvia, living in London, England.
Ron attended The Calcutta Boys School from 1947 to 1956 with his brother Hugh(Deceased) (4 years older).
The headmaster at the school was Ron’s uncle who didn’t let him off easy.
They were part of many formidable sports teams including, football (soccer), cricket and athletics and an anglo Indian field hockey team called the Wanderers.
Ron Left India in 1958 from Bombay on a French Troop ship with French troops returning from Vietnam and arrived in Marseilles France via the Suez canal, caught a train to Paris and arrived in England via Calais to Dover and then onto England
In England he worked in factories mostly as a machinist and played soccer for Crawley and Sutton United.
Ron left Southampton England for Canada in 1964 on a Cunard ship which I believe was the Queen Mary.
While in Canada, Ron worked in a number of different positions before starting with Etobicoke Hydro and roomed with four of his best buddies, Ashley, Errol and Daryl.
Ron was an excellent field hockey player and in Toronto he recruited players and formed 3 field hockey teams. The Wanderers, who were very successful and winning a major tournament in New York. The Rangers, winning a major tournament in Montreal, and The Falcons winning a major tournament in Washington, DC. He passed on his love of field hockey to Lydia who played in high school and his love of soccer to Mark who played soccer in Mississauga. Ron continued into his 60’s still coaching boy’s soccer and always playing soccer with the grandkids at every chance.
After a few years in Canada he met the love of his life, Lucy Colucci, in 1969. Ron was living next door to the Colucci’s in little Italy and fell in love at first site. How could he not! A Beautiful and wonderful girl, great Italian cooking, a loving extended family! He had it all! Now that I think of it… I think I followed the same path… so I can certainly relate.
Ron and Lucy were married in 1970 along with one of his best friends Kevin and Lucy’s cousin, Rita
In 1972, they had a beautiful baby girl named Lydia. Of course, I was the proud beneficiary of a lady who has so many of Ron’s characteristics, loving nature and genuineness.
Ron worked shift work at Etobicoke hydro and as such spent a lot of quality Dad and daughter time. Lydia absolutely adored her Dad and they have always had a very close relationship.
In 1979, Ron and Lucy had a bouncing baby boy, Marcus…or Mark. Ron quickly taught Mark to be an excellent soccer player and transferred his field hockey skills to ice hockey. Mark has his Dad’s wonderful quality of forming great relationships with everyone they meet.
In 1988, Ron and Lucy had an other beautiful addition to the family…. Kristina. Like Ron, Kris is one of the most patient, funny and kind people I know.
Ron never missed a dance lesson or recital
Ron never missed a soccer or hockey game
Ron never missed a birthday or family celebration
Ron was family first ….everything else after
…..and Ron was kid at heart!
Ron was the BEST papa. All of his grand kids…. Jenna, Nicholas, Lucas and Isabelle had a very close loving relationship with him. He would play for hours with them whether it be soccer, stick hockey, balloon fights, scrabble, wrestling, colouring ….it didn’t matter as all Ron wanted to do was spend time with them. He was a true kid at heart right to the end.
Funny story…..A couple of Christmas’s ago my son Nick got a hover board. You know, these are the 2 wheeled battery operated scooters you have all seen. They are a lot of fun but can be very dangerous especially for a beginner. Nick was in the rec room downstairs showing it off and I told him by no means to let anyone on it. I see Ron go downstairs, 10 minutes later I hear ‘Oh my GOD!’ ..and hear my son yell …'DAD come quick!!!'
I ran down stairs and I see Ron on the ground holding his arm saying …'I’m ok, I’m ok!!' I look at his arm and say …no your not ….your arm shouldn't be at that angle. Ron had suffered a major arm fracture. Seriously... what 76 year old gets on a 14 year old’s hover board . He spent 6 hours in emerg and had an arm cast for a few months…Yes, He was willing to try anything!
Ron loved children so much that when he retired from Etobicoke hydro he drove a school bus for several years. Not because he needed something to do, or needed another job…but because he cherished the relationships he made with children. You wouldn’t believe the letters, chocolates and compliments he received from the parents of the children at Christmas or the school year end. They loved him! Afdter Ron retired he also coached teenage boys soccer teams as a non-parent coach because he so missed coaching and teaching kids. Ron had a lot to give ….expecting nothing in return.
Ron would often tell his young grandkids folklore about the infamous spy ‘Ozzie Parker’. Ozzie was a Anglo Indian ‘Indiana Jones’ who he made up with a zest for adventure. Ron would create fictitious stories on the fly and tell them with animated gestures and voices. The kids would be so focused on his stories with their eyes wide and mouth’s open that when he eventually ended the story they would ask for more and more. 'Another Poppa! Another Poppa!' they would say.
Ron loved music, particularly big band. Benny Goodman, Artie Shaw. He had 100’s of tapes he would make and continued to listen to on his Walkman. Yes, he still used a Walkman even though we bought him the latest ipad and showed him how to stream music. However. he would watch endless hours of big band Youtube videos.
Ron loved photography. I was an amateur compared to Ron but learned so much. Ron had several single reflex cameras, and Hasselblad cameras which were a true afficionado’s camera back when Kodak was a real going concern…. Into his 60’s and 70’s Ron would spent countless hours combing through family photos and enlarging, organizing and zip locking bags by type and category.
Ron was excellent dancer, particularly jive. ……BOY he could jive! Put on 'Rock around the clock' or' Sing, Sing, Sing' or 'Stars on 45' and watch him go.
At weddings he would swing and twirl Lydia, Kris and Lucy around where I watched in awe that I would have a tears in my eyes. I tried to dance like Ron..... but Lydia just appeased me. This will be greatly missed.
Ron was a sportsman on both playing sports and watching sports.
Soccer, his beloved Manchester United
Football, he loved the Argos (One of the few!)
Golf, Ron was an excellent golfer and watched it for hours.
UFC, he loved it
Tennis, we both often played when we would go on family vacations together. Sometimes, I would let him win! Sorry Ron, I will admit that now…the one sport I had on him
Darts, Rugby, Pool, hockey, cricket…you name it..he liked it
The only sport I know he didn’t care for was baseball. Sorry to you Jays fans in the room.
Ron loved to cook his specialties. He introduced us all to Indian cuisine and made awesome 'Budja' (sp?) which is a vegetable curry. Lucy forced him to make it on the BBQ as no one could take the curry smell and how it would linger in the house for days. Of course, there were the meals the family cringed at including minced mole (ask Lydia) and ¼ boiled eggs….ask Jenna and Nick.
Even up to prior to him getting ill Ron would go out weekly with his IA best buddies Ashely, Darrel, Malcolm and Kevin and hit a local Indian or Hakka Restaurant and eat and chat about old times and old friends.
Ron loved to Macgyver things. We actually called a 'Ron-gyver'. He was an expert in L-bracketology and duck tapery. If anyone ever visited Ron’s man cave you would know what I mean. Brackets held up speakers, Television, appliances, and so on with a spider’s web of cabling connecting it all. It was like going into the office of Russell Crowe in a beautiful mind. If L-brackets didn’t work then duck tape would..he would duck-tape head phones, car keys, sandals, golf clubs, shoes, you name it. ..and you always knew who did it as Ron wrote 'DAD' on everything he owned. I think when Mark grew to be the same size as Ron they would get their underwear mixed up in the wash. Ron didn’t like it so everything was labelled from there on in…forever as DAD. Even after Mark got married and he was the only man in the house...every was still labelled 'DAD'
Material things were not important to Ron. All that mattered was health, humour, happiness, family and fellowship.
This is what I mean about Friendship
If you met Ron, you had a friend for life. He would always remember meeting you. Ron would strike up a conversation with anyone..I think this is where Lyd gets it. Our kids often say, MOM why do you have to talk to everyone!! We know why!
Ron has lifelong friends he was in touch with from the Calcutta boys school. Friends in Australia, England, United States, South Africa…all of which he was still in contact with.
I had a particularly close relationship with Ron.
Right from the day I met him. I met Ron when he was 56 and I was 25. I used to tell my friends that I am hanging out with my 60 year old best buddy. They would say...you actually enjoy spending time with your in-laws? I would say that they were the most enjoyable times in my life and I cherished time we spent together. We would golf together, play tennis together, and play cribbage for hours. We talked for hours about anything and everything.....I learned a lot about his travels and experiences and he gave me advice on being a good father, a good husband, and ultimately what really matters in life….friends, family and laughter.
Ron and Lucy supported Lyd and I through thick and thin …..while we were raising our family and starting and building a business.
Ron had great sayings such as -
'Be true to yourself'
'Go for the gold'
'Holy Shoot!'
...and
'Better to do something that nothing at all'
A week ago last Thursday I had to go on business trip for a week. I went into the hospice the night before I was leaving and I thought to myself …..this could be the last time I would every see him. I told him I loved him and that he was the best father in-law and close friends that anyone could ever have….and that I will be back in a week and that he was not to go anywhere. He faintly smiled back and squeezed my hand tightly. I cried driving back home that night.
When I landed last Thursday I took a cab directly to the hospice to see him. I could tell that it was close as his breathing was shallow and this disease had taken every last bit if him. I grabbed his hand, told him I loved him and that I was back and he squeezed my hand back tightly. A few hours later Ron passed away with his loving family next to him.
Ron was an amazing person and a life to celebrate. I know we are all sad…but I know in my heart that everyone in this room and everyone close to Ron and who he touched are glad to have known him and are better for it. Ron battled for 2 and half years but never complained once. He always thought he was going to get better which is why he persevered so long – ……..for us. He had so many treatments and was in the hospital and hospice for several months…. in and out …in and out. Lucy…Mark…. Kris …and Lydia never waivered ….never gave up. They were there to support him and care for him unconditionally. That IS what family is. That IS what love is.
The treatment and staff at the Sinai and Trillium hospitals and Dorothy Ley Hospice and the home support workers were amazing and they loved Ron.
Ron…..God Bless you ……and may you be dancing away to sing, sing, sing by Benny Goodman forever. You lived a great and meaningful life and we will remember you always.
If you can, ….Please hold your neighbours hand if you would as we always do at family gatherings.
Ron,
May the roads rise up to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
May the rains fall soft upon fields
And until we meet again
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.
God Bless you.
Thank-you all for coming and sharing in this Celebration of Ronald Melvin Hicks amazing and loving life.
